The Hyborian Tome [Hyborian War Repository]

After a morning of building and destroying cardboard tunnels, the battlefield shifted outdoors to advanced water weaponry, as the front yard became transformed into a Waterworld of mayhem and destruction. Multiple escalations eventually ensured that no one was safe.

I console myself with the knowledge that I dealt more damage than I absorbed. My tennis shoes, however, did not survive.

Congratulations, oh master of the fluidly stream of soaking.
My condolences on your loss of your trusted foot protectors.